Do you want people to WANT to speak to you and share their inner most secrets? If yes, then the answer is simple; have an open mind and be non-judgmental. It helps to want to help them! But having an open mind does not stop there. If you want to be heard, it is also good to have an open mind to all answers and possibilities including the things we do not want to hear.
I am one of those people that you may observe on the bus, public transportation, listening to a random person divulge their life story. I think it is because I invite these things. A person may say one thing, but I am quite curious, I ask the person exactly what I want to know, and I listen well. Sometimes you have to “listen between the lines.” People may say one thing, but the expressions on their face, or the tone of their voice, may imply more or something completely different, say in the case of sarcasm, but that is an obvious example. In terms of expression, looked for a pained wrinkled face, downcast (sad) eyes, hopeful (bright) eyes, and any bits of stuttering (<which can indicate lack of assurity or straight lying). There are other facial expressions, but I seem to only be able to name the obvious ones right now. Haha! As for tones, look for large intonation fluxuations and sentence ending with upper or lower intonation (uppy/cheery/happy vs down/sad/negative). Look for the texture of words, how intense certain words are spoken. This could reveal mood and emotional disposition. Words like “hate” can be spoken so terse in a way to suggest not just “hate” but an intense “hate” where the person feels immensely wronged like an injustice had been bestowed upon them.
Also in having an open mind, be willing to receive any kind of story and criticisms. Some things just needs to get out and you could be that awesomely privileged person to hear it all 😉 I am not saying be overly agreeable though. People can see through yours lies unconsciously, and there is where they would be not sure to trust you, and thus not sure to open up to you, unless they are just that sort of person… haha. AND also again… do not repeat what you hear. This builds rapport with your new friend.
Really, keep up all these good points! We all love people like this. Don’t you agree 😉
I hope this helps! and please donate.
P.S. My juice is all funky today