Depression and or Finding the Self

There are times where we get confused… or at least I do, and I need to find myself again and again and again and again. I do not think I have actually found myself yet, or if I did, I promptly forgot. Do you also feel lost as what to do next and or direction in life? And do you sometimes struggle with what you even like? Well part of that could be depression talking.

If you feel you have lost interest in some of the activities you use to love, you could be simply depressed. Some symptoms of depression also include (from “Bipolar Disorder” by Francis Mark Mandimore M.D.):

Mood symptoms: Depressed Mood, Dysphoric Mood, Diurnal Variation of Mood (early morning depression and mood improving as the day goes on), Guilty Feelings, Loss of Ability to Feel Pleasure (anhedonia), Social Withdrawal, Suicidal Thoughts

Cognitive Symptoms: Poor Concentration, Poor Memory, Indecision, Slowed Thinking

Bodily Symptoms:  Sleep Disturbance – insomnia, hypersomnia; Appetite Disturbance – weight loss, weight gain; Loss of Interest in Sex, Fatigue, Constipation, Headaches, Worsening of Painful Conditions

Symptoms of Psychosis: Delusional Thinking, Hallucinations, Catatonic States

I wrote that just because I may be just a bit depressed now, but I have had the symptom of not knowing what to do for awhile, which may also be depression talking. Say you are in a depressed state, speak to your physician for what to do. In my case, my doctor recently added an anti depressant, creating a medication mixture. If she adds one more, I will call it a medication cocktail. I probably won’t be able to feel the effects for a few weeks though.

For the sake of discussion, I am going to assume my problem is both depression and not. So for depression therapy of some sort (like playing with fluffy animals), a hobby (like drawing and painting), and medications should work.

Moving on, one of my friends said to me, “stick to the good and the ick will fall away.” I know I can trust in those words, because in the past, when I was goal driven toward what I just knew I had to do or have, the obstacles were easy to overcome.  One thing I have done in the past is go to the Career Center on my college campus to take various inventories of my talents and interests. Well I am most interested in psychology, but today I also know I am interested in making money playing Magic the Gathering. Haha!

Now I know I must solve my dilemma. I need funds to maintain this hobby, so I will add a donation box to this site soon. If you want to help me do the things I love, please donate J

Now I know I just switched modes very quickly, so by saying this, I am quickly switching back. Taking inventories of what you want can help. Also, just thinking deeply of the life you want helps as well. Perhaps draw a picture or write an extensive journal entry of the type of life you want. Soon after, the answers will come. If it sounds like a get rich quick scheme, think harder… unless it is marriage, then marry money. Hahahhahah!!!!!!!

Remember: “The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it” –anonymous

Also, do not forget to ask your friends and acquaintances about the talents they see in you. Perhaps they have some insight as well. Last, perhaps a test will tell you all you need to know. I would say read Steve P., but it has not worked for me so far. His advice is to write down ideas until you reach one that makes you cry… and you will find your life purpose. But that is up to you if that would be the case.

I will update you on what I have discovered about myself. Until then, please leave some feedback and email me letting me know what you want to read about next and your thoughts.

Also, Please Donate! (It’s under links and the image below :D)

Best Regards,




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